"Chick Flicks Are Realistic" ...Said No One Ever

On this lazy Friday night in, I decided to indulge in a cinematic experience. Being St. Patricks Day weekend, I considered something with my favourite hunk of Irish man candy, Gerard Butler. Then what I actually realized was that the only real movies that I knew of him were chick flicks, with the exception of The Phantom of the Opera (2004), but then again I don't see any males overly enthused by Emmy Rossum's rendition of "Think of Me." As much as I love Andrew Lloyd Weber, I was hoping to watch something a little lighter. And then I came across a list of ultimate chick flicks on IMDb by someone by the username of Geekzrus.

This list consisted of 150 chick flicks ranging from Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! to Eat Pray Love. If you would like to take a skim through the complete list, you can view it here.

I'm proud to say that I have only actually seen about 50% of the movies on this list as I'm not an overly adventurous person when it comes to movies. If I didn't see it in theatres, I probably won't ever. But I wanted to watch something I hadn't seen too many times before or something I had intended on seeing before, but never got around to.

And so obviously I pass The Notebook, and Pretty Woman, along with many other movies of the same stereotype.

"I'll never let go Jack!"

Anyway... I settled on a movie from the list. It was a TV movie from ABC Family starring Hilary Duff called Beauty and the Briefcase (2010); it was light to say the least.

I chose this movie because of a demented loyalty I have to Hilary Duff which stems from Lizzie McGuire and dragging my father through multiple concerts. I do admire Duff for her ability to remain sane in the industry and I respect her for marrying a hockey player.

However, watching this movie was slightly disappointing for my eight-year-old self. Her acting was poor and the storyline was worse. Lane Daniels (Duff) is hired by Cosmopolitan magazine to work in the business world (where Lane and her equally desperate boss believe all the quality men are) and find a "man in a suit" who meets all the criteria on her checklist of her ideal guy; she also affectionately refers to her perfect man as her "magic man." After completely unrealistic events, she lands a job for a finance company and goes on a date with almost every man in the office. Throughout all this I was really confused about how there were only twenty and thirty-something year olds working in a New York corporate office...

What really frustrated me about this movie was how desperate and superficial Lane made women appear. Her checklist included items such as; sexy accent, witty on a whim, travels to exotic places, spontaneous, etc. If you've ever seen The Ugly Truth, you understand the kind of neurotic behaviour to which I'm referring.

I would like to emphasize that this movie was distributed by ABC Family. This was slightly concerning when Lane vaguely described chocolate sex scenes with one of her prospective magic men. There were also adverts for various ABC Family TV shows places throughout the movie. It's all a little concerning.

This is nothing personally against Hilary Duff, I understand she's matured and grown up; she can talk about sex if she wants to, and she can definitely play a more promiscuous character if she would like. These blips of sexual innuendo and encounters were slightly unsettling and I didn't think they were all too appropriate for the movie or it's intended audience. Hate to sound so parental.

"It'll be the climax of my story!" "I'm pretty sure I heard the climax last night."

Another viewer expressed their concern as well: "I was also a little concerned about the sexual references (i.e. painting each others bodies with chocolate and then 'burning it off' after one date, talk of climaxing etc.). Surely that's a bit much for a younger audience?" Other reviews are available here if you're interested in the movie, which I don't overly recommend.

The only thing I truly appreciated about this movie was the only glimmer of realism at the end when Lane and her magic man are kissing in a horse drawn carriage and her Prince Charming pulls away for a moment to say, "I can't feel my arm."

This made me go back to the list of chick flicks and think about how realistic any of these movies are...

So I went through this list of chick flicks and made my pick of five relatively recent chick flicks that I find painfully unrealistic. 

Obviously, to be fair, I excluded the chick flicks that have an element of fantasy to them such as The Time Travellers Wife or Charlie St. Cloud.

(5) The Back-Up Plan (2010)
For any of you who have not seen this Jennifer Lopez chick flick, it's just like all the others. That's not to say that it's bad, but it generally follows the same kind of plot line. Girl meets boy, bad timing, not being wholly honest, boy loves girl anyway, etc.

And no I did not just ruin the ending for you, because you knew that was what was going to happen anyway.

My first issue with this movie is how the pair meet, they hail the same cab and get into an argument. That would usually be an awkward and hostile encounter, not the kind of verbal flirty punching they were doing.

Then, of course, fate intervenes and they meet again. You can probably see where this is going.

Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) is experiencing the "forever alone" phase of her life that most of the protagonists in chick flicks experience. In order to satisfy her maternal instinct, she officially gives up on the dating world and undergoes artificial insemination. She then becomes pregnant with twins.

But wouldn't you know it, Stan (Zoe's love interest) is ready to take over the father role even though he's gone back to school to better himself, he is willing to give everything to support Zoe, make her happy, and start a family with her.

Zoe ends up starting a fight over practically nothing and lives up to the stereotype of a crazy lady with a baby, then realizes that everything is okay once a stroller is delivered. Then she pours her heart out to Stan while she's in labor... Of course.

I swear movies have no concept of time. I just want to say, that if I were in this bizarre situation and this guy was all in to be the father of my children before my baby belly even starts to show, I'd be weirded right out. That's moving way, way, way too fast.

Also, Zoe gives up little to none for Stan. It's assumed that the man should bend over backwards for you and there shouldn't be any sacrifice on the woman's end. Unrealistic.

This being said, I do enjoy this movie and it's comical moments.

(4) The Last Song (2010)

Everyone has their opinions on Miley Cyrus, but it is very hard for any sappy girl to deny themselves of an adaptation of Nicholas Sparks - especially when Liam Hemsworth is co-starring.

I don't know about any other girls, but last time I was overtly rude and smug towards a guy on the beach, he wasn't exactly chasing after me. Even when I'm nice to guys it doesn't always happen.

Another thing that bothered me was the fact that Miley Cyrus got to keep her awful accent in the movie, and Liam Hemsworth had to cover his sultry Australian voice. Really, really frustrating.

Anyway, after an extravagant date swimming in the aquarium tanks, they fall in love. Certain things drag them apart (trying not to completely spoil the movie), and then they find their way back to each other in the end and it's super romantic... Don't pretend you didn't already know the ending.

The extent to which Will (Liam Hemsworth) is willing to go to prove his love for Ronnie, and to win her over, is ridiculous and no one should transfer these standards into real life or you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.

Personally, I enjoyed the book much more than the movie.

(3) Monster-In-Law (2005)

Another Jennifer Lopez movie, because who can get enough of that booty?

Monster-In-Law really is one of my all time favourite movies, but partly because of how ridiculous it is.

Again Charlotte (Jennifer Lopez) is in that spiralling "forever alone" phase where she feels like there is no man who is right for her. Then she meets Kevin (Michael Vartan).

There's a contrast of rags and riches in this movie, since Kevin is a doctor and Charlotte is a dog walker/temp, and this only adds to the fantasy of this chick flick.

I quickly want to express that every time I see Jennifer Lopez standing on the beach asking Michael Vartan to prove to her how he's different, then turns around and asks what the colour of her eyes are. Vartan's character continues to describe her eyes similarly to a lengthy Michael Ondaatje poem.

Maybe I'm just awkward, but I would get really uncomfortable if someone did that to me. But of course, Charlotte totally loves it.

Of course the time span of the relationship is elapsed because that's not the focus of the movie, however it is noted that they are not together for a very long time before getting engaged.

Kevin's mother, Viola (Jane Fonda), is having somewhat of a midlife crisis and is holding a grudge against women of a younger demographic. She tries to sabotage her son's relationship and pressure Charlotte into calling off the engagement. Viola even goes so far as to adding nuts to Charlotte's food, and Charlotte is allergic to nuts. Hence the play on words, Monster-In-Law.

I understand that in-laws don't always particularly get along, however this takes it to an extreme. Plus Charlotte and Viola's reconciliation is a little too abrupt; they are incredibly open to forgive and forget which I find a bit odd.

Again, I love this movie, but when you sit back and take it for what it is, super unrealistic.

(2) P.S. I Love You (2007)

This movie is unrealistic for obvious reasons, but it did sucker a tear or two out of me.

It is an incredibly sweet movie and the concept of receiving notes from your deceased husband is grimly romantic. However, once again, we run into the concept of false expectations; this could not happen anywhere but in a movie.

I understand the idea of loving someone until death to you part and being utterly dedicated to another person, but seriously, this stuff never happens.

I don't mean to sound like a cynic or a pessimist, but it really is the truth. Things like this don't happen every day (if even at all) and it's completely unrealistic.

Again, I really did enjoy this movie, and it is definitely a tear jerker, but you shouldn't interpret it too literally because that kind of strong and passionate love exists without these kinds of gimmicks.

(1) The Notebook (2004)
I can already feel the flack from picking this movie as unrealistic. I know it's an all-time favourite for most people, but really sit down and think about the story...

Here we are presented with a rich girl (Allie, played by Rachel McAdams) and a poor boy (Noah, played by Ryan Gosling) who hangs from a ferris wheel to get a date with a girl who hasn't said more than a few words to him.

Seriously, this isn't just me here. If you're logical, you understand where I'm coming from and how completely irrational that is.

Anyway, they turn into this really cute couple and then when Allie's parents don't approve they are separated. (This doesn't sound familiar at all Mr. Sparks)

They are later reunited when Allie sees the picture of Noah's house in the newspaper - let's just assume that renovating the house just how Allie had described it to him is relatively realistic. At this point in time Allie is engaged but the two are still madly in love...

"It wasn't over, it still isn't over"

And they engage in an iconic make out session in the middle of the rain after Allie learns of all the letters Noah had been writing her. Allie ends up leaving her fiancé, and they live happily ever after... at least until they are old and Allie develops Alzheimer's. But Noah reads to Allie and she remembers and it's all so awfully romantic.



Seriously, I'm not trying to bash any of these movies. I really enjoy most of them and are some of my favourite chick flicks.

I just want to encourage you to take these movies with a grain of salt and recognize that it's a movie. Just like when you're watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre and reminding yourself that "it's just a movie" so you aren't paranoid when you go to sleep at night. You should watch these movies with the same kind of attitude.

You should really be critical of these movies rather than swooning over these movies. Understand that they're works of fiction and you shouldn't let these themes and concepts try to manifest themselves in your life, otherwise you will be that crazy girl with a set of criteria when you meet a guy.

Real life isn't a movie, and what really frustrates me about chick flicks, is that they try to pretend that these situations are plausible when they usually aren't.

Romantic and elaborate things can happen in real life, I'm not refuting that. They just should not be expected, and chick flicks develop these common themes of (1) the guy giving up something significant for you, (2) a sense of fate or destiny, and (3) an unexpected romance.

I'm guilty of watching chick flicks, but I think it's really important to try to maintain a sense of reality while watching them. And don't take it out on your boyfriend, because he may not write you letters everyday, but he still loves you, and that's not fair. This isn't to say that you shouldn't have standards for your man, but a realistic set.

And on that note, I'll leave you with this public service announcement that can apply to chick flicks for all y'all crazies.

Feel free to leave your comments on the subject, do you agree or disagree? Or just let me know what your favourite chick flick is.