Confessions of a Complicated Starbucks Order

I wish I could say that I have a simple Starbucks order, but everyone's is a little bit particular. Mine, however, is so complex, that if I don't tell the barista to mark the cup first, I'll have to repeat myself.

I feel like a pretentious jerk whenever I order, and they always look at me inquisitively until I go off on a brief tangent describing a combination of milk and syrup.

"Extra hot no foam two pump sugar free hazelnut soy steamer"

I really wish I were kidding.

Every word in that order is important. If you miss one, I probably won't drink it. It makes me feel really high maintenance and ridiculous, but it's what I like to drink, embarrassingly enough. It really isn't mumbo jumbo I'm saying to sound like some sort of coffee connoisseur who is superior to every other hipster on the street.

In normal English, all I want is really hot flavoured soy milk. Seriously.

I don't like to drink coffee unless I'm having a rough morning, but I love hot drinks in the winter. Especially when it's as tasty as Starbucks.

A question that I get a lot is "How did you find out that you like that?"

Well, my mom likes to drink vanilla steamers. It's simply warm vanilla milk. Sounds pretty cozy, right?

One day I ordered one for my mom, but they really messed it up and made a hazelnut soy steamer instead of a 2% vanilla steamer. Wrong milk, and wrong flavour syrup. Mistakes happen.

She hated the hazelnut steamer and I loved it, so the next time I went I ordered it again, except with  fewer pumps since I like the taste of soy milk and didn't want the hazelnut to be as dominant. I also opted for sugar free hazelnut syrup instead since soy milk already has a lot of sugar in it and I don't need to be making that worse. They taste the same anyway, may as well cut out what you can.

Hence, two pump sugar free hazelnut soy steamer.

I ask for it to be "extra hot" because I find it gets too cold too quickly and I can't drink it. I also hate the foam at the top.

Extra hot no foam.

When you break it down, it all makes sense and is pretty reasonable I think. Maybe I'm just trying to convince myself of that.

It's yummy and helps me fill me up, especially if I'm on the go. A lot of people I know don't like it, but they don't have to drink it. And it isn't like Starbucks doesn't have options.

I hope one day we can all live in a world where people aren't judged by what they order at Starbucks.

I'd like to end this post off with the fact that I really miss pumpkin spice lattes. That's all.